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  • Writer's picturedrclarealb

Anger Management

Feeling angry is a normal and expected emotion that all humans go through, likely at numerous times in their lives. Being angered when a situation calls for it and then calming down once the situation has been addressed and remedied is healthy and does not indicate a problem. It’s when a person feels this at even the slightest of inconveniences, that their anger could be rising towards problematic levels.

Anger management issues are very common, especially among those with unaddressed stress or anxiety, depression and other mental health concerns. Unfortunately, many people don’t realize that they have a problem until their loved ones, co-workers and others in their lives make mention of the subject – which often provokes an angered response.

People with anger management issues may not be receptive to the input of those around them and may even become angry at those who only intend to help. If you are in such a situation, you should realize that no amount of outside interference is going to change the way you see the world or your place within it.

While the help of a professional therapist may help you to assess these matters and put you on the right path toward personal wellness, understand that the change starts with you.

If you’re feeling helpless, like there is nothing that you can do to address and change your angry ways, consider the tips below. When applied consistently, and perhaps with the help of a professional who is educated in the causes of such persistent anger, you’ll be astounded at the differences that you will see in yourself over time.


Getting physically active is great for the body and helps to relieve stress, improve depression symptoms and promote overall body wellness. A speed-walking session or a run when you feel your anger about to peak can help to alleviate the anger that’s clouding your mind and allow you to approach the angering situation with a clearer head.

Express Yourself Calmly

After that brisk walk or run, you might feel more comfortable expressing what has you so frustrated in a calm and level-headed manner. It is never good to hold in the things that we are feeling, so make sure to let the people in your life know why you got angry or frustrated.

When your head is clear, you can do this in a way that isn’t confrontational and doesn’t aim to control the people around you. Others will, in turn, feel more inclined to help you find a solution that everyone can be happy with.

Embrace Quiet Time

The word “timeout” might make you think of children who have been misbehaving, but timeouts work wonders for adults, too. Becoming overloaded by stressors can make it impossible to think clearly and without anger influencing your thoughts in a negative way. When stressful situations arise, take some time out to yourself in a space that is quiet and allows you to reflect without interruption.

Look for Solutions

If a situation has you angry, frustrated or otherwise upset in a way that prompts you to lash out, don’t simply accept that you were angry and let that be that. Look for ways to improve on these situations, paying particular focus to what you can do to make these scenarios easier for you to cope with in a healthy and constructive way.

Use Statements that Begin with “I”

One thing that many people with anger management issues often do is to direct blame and shame the others around them to absolve their own involvement in the situation. Instead of pointing fingers with “You” statements that target those around you, focus on statements that begin with “I” to express how you feel without placing blame.

Be accountable for your own feelings and don’t put blame onto others just to avoid that accountability.

Call Dr. Clare Albright, Psy.D. Psychologist CA License PSY11660 at 949-454-0996 or visit

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